The World's Worst-Kept Secret

Every day when I walk to work, I go past a big sign on the side of one of those bus stop waiting booths. It's an ad for Killian's Irish Red beer, and above a picture of a bottle of the beer is the following phrase: "The Secret? Slow Roasted Caramelized Malt." And I always think to myself, that has to be the absolute worst secret of all time.

I mean, really, if you felt like this secret brewing strategy was putting your product a notch above all the competitors, would you truly want to share it with absolutely anybody who walks down a busy street? It would make sense if the ad said that, "The Key Ingredient? Slow Roasted Caramelized Malt," or "You Know What's Delicious? Some Slow Roasted Caramelized Malt." But the usage of the word "secret" is patently false in this instance. I'm pretty sure printing an ingredient in large letters on a billboard makes it the exact opposite of a secret.